狗比妻子更可爱的原因--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
狗比妻子更可爱，这是因为：狗不会哭。狗喜欢你到家来玩的朋友。狗不在乎你是否用了它的香波。狗认为你的歌唱得都很不错。狗洗澡洗得很快。狗不会要求你晚回家时要打电话。你回家越晚，狗对你就越热情。狗会原谅你同其它狗的嬉戏。狗不会在意你用另一只狗的名字叫它。狗更喜欢粗鲁点的游戏。狗不会在意你将它的后代送人。狗认为放屁是件有趣的事儿。狗欣赏体毛。任何人都可以拥有漂亮的狗。如果某只狗打扮得很华丽，其它的狗也不会嫉恨。狗不会逛商店。狗喜欢你在地板上丢东西。在一个月内，狗的情绪不会反复无常。狗不需要你去证明什么关系。狗的父母不会来探亲。狗喜欢在车里长途旅行。狗知道本能比问路更有用。当狗年老体弱，只知道不停向你狂咬的时候，你可以开枪打死它。狗喜欢喝啤酒。狗成年后体重不会增加上百磅。狗不会吹毛求疵。狗会同意在争论时可以提高嗓门。狗从来不会企盼礼物。将狗拴在家里是合法的。狗不会讨厌细菌。狗不想知道你以前有没有其它的狗。狗喜欢到户外去调查，而不是对你的钱包或者书桌什么的感兴趣。狗不会让杂志上的文章左右自己的生活。狗更喜欢你给它买的火腿汉堡而不是龙虾大餐。你永远用不着为狗而等待，因为它们一天24小时都呆在家里。狗不需要鲜花、贺卡、珠宝什么的。狗不会借用你的衬衫。狗不会让你给它擦脚。狗喜欢你在公共场合的亲呢。狗觉得你喝醉的样子很有趣。狗不会唠唠叨叨。狗不会那么阴险。狗不会比你更长寿。WHY
DOGS
ARE
BETTER
THAN
WIVESDogs
don’t
cry.Dogs
love
it
when
your
friends
come
over.Dogs
don’t
care
if
you
use
their
shampoo.Dogs
think
you
sing
great.A
dog’s
time
in
the
bathroom
is
limited
to
a
quick
drink.Dogs
don’t
expect
you
to
call
them
when
you’re
running
late.The
later
you
are,
the
more
excited
dogs
are
to
see
you.Dogs
will
forgive
you
for
playing
with
other
dogs.Dogs
don’t
notice
if
you
call
them
by
another
dogs
name.Dogs
are
excited
by
rough
play.Dogs
don’t
mind
if
you
give
their
offspring
away.Dogs
understand
that
farts
are
funny.Dogs
can
appreciate
excess
body
hair.Anyone
can
get
a
good
looking
dog.If
a
dog
is
gorgeous,
other
dogs
don’t
hate
it.Dogs
don’t
shop.Dogs
like
it
when
you
leave
lots
of
things
on
the
floor.A
dog’s
disposition
stays
the
same
all
month
long.Dogs
never
need
to
examine
the
relationship.A
dog’s
parents
never
come
to
visit.Dogs
love
long
car
trips.Dogs
understand
that
instincts
are
better
than
asking
for
directions.When
a
dog
gets
old
and
starts
to
snap
at
you
incessantly,
you
can
shoot
it.Dogs
like
beer.Dogs
don’t
hate
their
bodies.No
dog
ever
bought
a
Kenny
G.
album.No
dog
ever
put
on
a
hundred
pounds
after
reaching
adulthood.Dogs
never
criticize.Dogs
agree
that
you
have
to
raise
your
voice
to
get
your
point
across.Dogs
never
expect
gifts.Its
legal
to
keep
a
dog
chained
up
at
your
house.Dogs
don’t
worry
about
germs.Dogs
don’t
want
to
know
about
every
other
dog
you
have
ever
had.Dogs
like
to
do
their
snooping
outside,
as
opposed
to
your
wallet,
deskor
sock
drawer.Dogs
don’t
let
magazine
articles
guide
their
life.Dogs
would
rather
you
buy
them
a
hamburger
than
a
lobster
dinner.You
never
have
to
wait
for
a
dog,
they’re
ready
24
hours
a
day.Dogs
have
no
use
for
flowers,
cards,
or
jewelry.Dogs
don’t
borrow
your
shirts.Dogs
never
want
a
foot
rub.Dogs
enjoy
heavy
petting
in
public.Dogs
find
it
amusing
when
you
are
drunk.Dogs
can’t
talk.Dogs
aren’t
catty.Dogs
seldom
outlive
you